synchronous-failure:

romanimp:

romanimp:

Some of the best alpine/woodland military camo is developed by the Swiss, but most of the rest of the world refuse to use it because it has pink and red splotches on it, making it look “unmanly.”

Honestly if you’d prefer to risk it for the sake of looking “manly” then you deserve to get shot. 

image

"That couldn’t possibly work, Roman! Alpenflage is dumb and you’re dumb!”

image

image

image

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DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT PLAY “WHERE’S WALDO” WITH THE SWISS

YOU WILL LOSE

This is fucking dumb as hell.

First off, those images don’t actually have anyone in them. You can zoom in and see for yourself. They’re low resolution images the OP took at a random forest. There are no other examples online. They circled something far enough away that you could never tell.

Lastly, that’s not how the pattern would work anyway. You’d still notice their silhouette, their helmet, and their gear unless it was some sort of ghillie suit (then it’s not even the same thing). That’s not to say the pattern doesn’t work but here’s the best example I could find.

image

If you notice, the pattern is designed for an autumn environment. It wouldn’t work elsewhere. That’s why other countries don’t use it. Not because it isn’t “masculine” or whatever bullshit Tumblr is trying to spin. That thing would be a bright bulls eye in Afghanistan.

Here’s an example of the camouflage we use (multicam):

image

Finally, other countries have in fact used splotches of red or shades of pink. The Nazis were the first to use one (it was called Leibermuster), which in turn became the foundation for the Swiss pattern shown above (Alpenflage/TAZ 83; you can tell by the name alone that it was designed with the Alps in mind, nowhere else). The Soviet Union and its successor states (Russia, Ukraine, etc.) have also used some really bizarre red camos.

At the end of the day, the Swiss changed the pattern to a more typical woodland green, brown, and black pattern in the ’90s (TAZ 90). So the whole argument is moot.

The only nation that services a red-coloured pattern is Oman and it’s stupid as fuck.

(via halbernacht)

the-average-gatsby:

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

(via jilliawillia)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

delightfullyvague:

(source)

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

(via shipsshipships)

Q

Anonymous asked:

A preview of the 5e Bard is finally out!

A

corruptionpoints:

dm-lorati:

corruptionpoints:

YEAH I SAW IT.

The BARD has been unleashed on D20Monkey, due to the creator’s profane love of BARDS. 

In no way should you go check out D20Monkey for fun and raunchy Dungeons & Dragons-based webcomics.

And you absolutely should not view the Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition Bard preview.

And in NO WAY should you buy or even LOOK AT this shirt, spreading its obvious heresy.

You should also not get excited over BARDS having access to 9th-level spells or the prospect of new mechanics that Bard Colleges present to the game, potentially meshing roleplaying and mechanical benefit, placing the combination of these things at the core of design rather than a suggestion.

NO. ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT.

Guys, I’m starting to think CP has a secret, shameful bard fetish.

It’s okay, CP.  No one here will judge you.  Except those of us that will.

roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history
roymaes:

the greatest plan in history

roymaes:

the greatest plan in history

(via spacesloths)

novacorps:

Date someone who looks at you the way Mark Ruffalo looks at Paul Rudd.

novacorps:

Date someone who looks at you the way Mark Ruffalo looks at Paul Rudd.

(via greatgollywally)

hypotheticalyiff:

peetamellarkeys:

birdthenerd:

I have never reblogged something so fast in my life

it’s exactly what you think it is

(via techsquadassemble)

bombing:

attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon

(via coldforest)

piranhapunk:

thehansoloist:

These photos were taken a few seconds apart.

ahhh how majestic
piranhapunk:

thehansoloist:

These photos were taken a few seconds apart.

ahhh how majestic

piranhapunk:

thehansoloist:

These photos were taken a few seconds apart.

ahhh how majestic

(via murphmanfa)

nation-of-homeskillets:


he knows what hes done
nation-of-homeskillets:


he knows what hes done

romanimp:

romanimp:

Some of the best alpine/woodland military camo is developed by the Swiss, but most of the rest of the world refuse to use it because it has pink and red splotches on it, making it look “unmanly.”

Honestly if you’d prefer to risk it for the sake of looking “manly” then you deserve to get shot. 

image

"That couldn’t possibly work, Roman! Alpenflage is dumb and you’re dumb!”

image

image

image

image

DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT PLAY “WHERE’S WALDO” WITH THE SWISS

YOU WILL LOSE

(via coldforest)

dice-corner-of-shame:

refused to hit a goblin in leather armor 8 times and dropped me down 30’ from a wall

(via thewenglishwarlock)